Where C-SPAN is the local TV news
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| The Washington Canard Where C-SPAN is the local TV news |
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Friday, September 30, 2005
WEIRD SCIENCE
— MP George Galloway debating Christopher Hitchens, New York City, 9/16
— Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen on the indictment of Tom DeLay, CNN, 9/28 UPDATED — So as to be ever-so-slightly less cryptic. Thursday, September 29, 2005
WORLD TRAVELER PRETEND Ever wondered what the Apple store in Tübingen, Deutschland looks like? Boy, who hasn't? Well, you can stop wondering:  This vicarious travel-blogging was made possible by my younger sister, whose studying abroad this year — and planned near-term launching of her own blog — will ensure that FLOG™ won't be the only person I know to photoblog a land with many more Beutlers than these here United States of America. Tuesday, September 27, 2005
BUBBLE BOBBLE Coming soon to... theaters near you? HBO? I'm not sure... is "Inside the Bubble" — a behind-the-scenes documentary on John Kerry's 2004 campaign for the presidency, which doesn't seem to have an IMDB listing just yet. Among the highlights, originally reported by former Postie Lloyd Grove (whose old "Reliable Source" column went to two unknowns over the allegedly unemployable Wonkette), is '08 frontrunner/Sen. Hillary Clinton grimacing at then-DNC chairman Terry "T-Mac" McAuliffe as Kerry made that ill-advised "timber company" comment during the second debate:   Being a Washington insider, or something ever-so-vaguely along those lines, I managed to acquire links to a handful of clips from the film. Check them out:
Monday, September 26, 2005
OBSESS MUCH?  I would read the Radiohead blog if they had an RSS feed I could plug into this newsreader* — but luckily enough, Pitchfork (who could use an RSS feed of their own, but at least have daily content) is reading it for me. Such as the latest, where the only news is that Jonny Greenwood has been listening to basically nothing but Lee "Scratch" Perry for six months; idle speculation on the author's part is that the next album will be Radiohead-does-reggae (I concede that this worries me a bit). The original Greenwood post was 550 words; the summary is nearly 400. The concluding sentence:So I guess they're a bit sensitive about it. _____ *OS X only, $18.95, and worth every penny. Sunday, September 25, 2005
DA DA DUH  Now, that was a great half of Oregon football. Where Kellen Clemens could go 7 for 10 and Matt Leinart couldn't connect 50% of his throws. Where Reggie Bush was carrying 7 yards per carry less than his usual. Where the refs were in our pocket, at least until our second touchdown (I'll count it, even if they didn't). Where we could claim a victory in the press no matter what happened after the half. Where the stache-lack seemed an afterthought. Had Knute Rockne's innovations included the 30-minute game, we would be on top of the world right now, and looking forward to a championship season of our own. Alas... something else happened. I started pounding pints a few minutes into the third quarter, so, I guess I don't really have much more to say. Except that if Yuengling is the Weinhard's of the mid-Atlantic, I'd rather be in Oregon. Anyway, the Washington Canard sure seems like the Eugene Canard right now, doesn't it? I'll try to post something District-oriented soon. But now, I must weep. Saturday, September 24, 2005
DUCK THIS Duh duh da, duh duh da da da, duh duh da, duh duh da da, duh duh da, duh da, duh da da ... mighty Oregon!
Today at 7 Eastern/4 Pacific, it's on. And I, for one, choose to suspend my powers of rational analysis and replace it with the sincere belief that we can pull this off. Bob Rickert at the Big O Ducks Blog says they'll have to play a perfect game to win. The lack of 'stache may not be a great sign, but need one without rational capacity necessarily lapse into superstition? Best not to dwell on this question. Andrew "Nomaduck" Adams, who bravely predicts a 38-31 Ducks victory in the comments to my last post, is back at it again at the given-up-for-dead group blog The Loop. If anybody wants to join him but has forgotten their access (or never was a part but wants in regardless) send me an e-mail. Anyway, the week of non-posting at the Canard is explained by a major project I've been undertaking for work, and the lack of posting that is sure to follow will have the same cause. Until then, a few pop culture-ish things I noticed this week:
Sunday, September 18, 2005
STICK IT IN, STICK IT IN, UNHH!!  Well done, Terrence. You too, Demetrius. And Kellen, don't think I didn't notice your 332 yards and 4 TDs. Your lack of turnovers was also appreciated. Same goes for the rest of you. Congrats on a game well-played and hard-fought. Against a ranked team (depending on the poll) no less. 3-0 so far, in these pre-conference games, isn't the gimme it used to be, and I salute you. But I wouldn't put money on you. Certainly not next Saturday. 3rd-down conversions, are you there? It's me, Margaret (Note: Here I am speaking on behalf my 7-year-old-sister, Margaret). Also, some pass defense would be appreciated. And there wasn't an opportunity to let Fresno State back into the game that you didn't seize. When I praise tonight's win as a "great game" and "worth watching to the last minute" what I really mean is, you almost blew it. I'm with you guys to the bitter end — my matriculation at the University of Oregon in Fall 1997 assured that — but I'd be lying if I said I believed in you. Well... that's not fair. I believe you will finish over .500 again this year. I belive you can win this year's Civil War. I believe Haloti Ngata can stay healthy through the end of the season. But do I believe you'll finish ranked, or win a decent bowl game? I'm not there yet. At least you didn't have done to you what was done to the Beavers earlier in the day. Then again, the Bulldogs aren't exactly the Cardinals. But hey, it was fun. Let's do this again next week. UPDATE — Ranked! ... but for how long? If we beat the spread against the Trojans, what's the chance we'll still be on the boards next week? Thursday, September 15, 2005
SCCHRRANGGG!!! SCCHRRANGGG!!! SCCHRRANGGG!!! Gah. What a horrible half-week it has been. As the previous post mentions, I spent my weekend out on Assateague Island near Ocean City, Maryland. The Atlantic waters in this part of the country are warm enough to get comfortable with in minutes, the waves are challenging enough, but not deadly like the Oregon coast (whence my previous wave-jumping experiences were based). But this being my first coastal visit/camping trip in a few years, I didn't think to bring, you know, sunblock. The consequences weren't apparent until about 5AM on Monday morning, whereupon regaining consciousness, I could barely move. Every slight adjustment brought a biting pain in my upper body. From the belly button up I was a bright pinkish-orange not often seen outside "Adult Swim." Each tiny shift of my shoulders brought a crackling spike of pain. To boot, I had a serious case of nausea. So I did what I hadn't done in at least six months' time: I called in sick. I really do love my job (as I've mentioned before) and sitting out a day hurt almost as much as the physical pain I was enduring. Almost. I ended up sitting out two days. This would have been unbearable, except my Blogometer backup knows what he's doing, and except for the timely arrival of a purchase I'd been meaning to make for months, if not years:  That's right — the hardback first-edition of Stephen King's 1989 "Complete & Uncut" edition of "The Stand." Long before I became an aficionado of literary fiction, this book was my first endeavor to read a 1000-page novel. I may be among the few born after 1960 to read the original edition before this one. Now, I bought this as a collector's item — it's in perfect condition — and didn't really plan to read it through (for what would probably be the third time) but two days later I'd already gotten 200 pages in. My take? Far simpler than the 1000-page works of fiction I've bothered with more recently, but dang if it isn't a compelling read. Anyway, by Tuesday night I figured I was well enough, and the excruciating pain had subsided enough, to return to productivity by the following day. So I went to bed at about 9PM and settled comfortably (or as comfortably as I could) into slumber. Shortly after 1AM I woke up to... what is this, a... truly godawful scchrranggg!!! scchrranggg!!! scchrranggg!!! It took a few moments to resume full consciousness. This deranged sound wasn't coming from my apartment — I've melted enough Tupperware on the stove to know what my smoke detector sounds like — but from the hallway outside. I rousted myself and looked through the eyehole, and saw some twentysomething doofus wander by with a smirk on his face. At this point I was already thinking this probably wasn't serious. Keeping the lights off, I searched for my cell phone to call Der Buzz downstairs to find out if he was hearing the same thing. (Turned out later, he was not in the building.) Couldn't find it. And the sound wasn't going away. So I threw some clothes on, located my keys and wallet, and ventured out. The hallway was much more humid than my AC-equipped apartment, and although I detected no smoke, I stayed low, taking the stairs down to the first floor and exiting the front door. Outside, maybe half of the apartment's residents had already gathered. The DCFD showed up a few minutes later. Standing near the door, I used my magnetic card to let them in, and watched two of them head off into the recesses of the building while a third pecked at the alarm box in the lobby. The two returned within a few minutes — clearly there was no real crisis. Yet the alarm they couldn't shut off. One walked back outside and asked the crowd: does anyone know how to contact the management? At this point I decided I to go back up and get some sleep, schranging or no. The sound outside my room was terrifying, but inside it was muffled, and I was reassured that a fiery death was not likely. In a brief IM conversation, One-Handed Economist suggested I try to take a video capture of the stroboscopic fire alarm blaring out in the hallway. Well, so I did. Click on the image below to see it.  While the scchrranggg!!! scchrranggg!!! scchrranggg!!! continued, I put on my headphones the latest Ann Althouse podcast and drifted back to sleep. (Note: The audio in the above clip does not do justice to the terrifying schranginess that was this evening's memorable soundtrack.) Thereupon I returned to work mere hours later, to normalcy, to editing down this article for a future best-of issue of the Oregon Commentator, and eventually to filing this self-conscious report. As for the sunburn, it is still quite itchy, and only now is the skin starting to peel (sorry, but it's the truth). Yesterday while finishing up the Blogometer I spent ten minutes cursing the constant itchiness of my upper torso, and scratching it as lightly as I could. Ouch. Ouch! Ouch. But work is good, and I'll be back at Summers in Arlington to watch the Ducks (hopefully) stomp Fresno State on Saturday. Any questions? Sunday, September 11, 2005
9/11/2005 I've just got back from Assateague Island (yes, Assateague) on the Maryland coast, so I've been disconnected from the news since Friday. But I just caught Sen. Mary Landrieu on the replay of "Fox News Sunday" arguing with anchor Chris Wallace about how much the state of Louisiana and city of New Orleans are responsible for what went wrong. She got quite angry when he flashed that infamous photo of the sunken school buses, but her defense largely rested on the assumption that the state and city institutions don't work even on good days. At least here in the Northeast Corridor, putting New Orleans back together again the way it was is fast sounding as unlikely as it ever was that we would rebuild the North and South Towers of the WTC. Four years ago this week I heard it said by many (including me) that the towers would be replaced with copies of themselves. They weren't, and as the days pass it seems even less likely that New Orleans will be restored to its former shape. Take this Slate assessment by Jack Shafer, and this Washington Post essay by "Edge City" author Joel Garreau. This is elite opinion and not necessarily the consensus, but consider some of the factors in play, via the Post: When [the insurance industry] looks at the devastation here, it will evaluate the risk from toxicity that has leached into the soil, and has penetrated the frames of the buildings, before it decides to write new insurance -- without which nothing can be rebuilt.But the port is important, right? Surely we'll rebuild it because of the port's economic importance to the country. Maybe not: Throughout the world, you see an increasing distinction between "port" and "city." As long as a port needed stevedores and recreational areas for sailors, cities like New Orleans -- or Baltimore or Rotterdam -- thrived. Today, however, the measure of a port is how quickly it can load or unload a ship and return it to sea. That process is measured in hours. It is the product of extremely sophisticated automation, which requires some very skilled people but does not create remotely enough jobs to support a city of half a million or so.And which New Orleans-based companies were providing those jobs before Katrina? Not many: There are no national corporations with their headquarters in New Orleans. There are regional headquarters of oil companies such as Chevron and ConocoPhillips, but their primary needs are an airport, a heliport and air conditioning. Not much tying them down. In the Central Business District you will also find the offices of the utilities you'd expect, such as the electricity company Entergy. But if you look for major employers in New Orleans, you quickly get down to the local operations of the casino Harrah's, and Popeye's Fried Chicken.New Orleans' population has declined roughly the same way Detroit's has — by the tens of thousands for decades, since the 1960s and 70s. Meanwhile, other cities have gone in the opposite direction. Washington is one. I don't have the numbers before me, but the level of private industry and population growth in the Beltway area has gone through the roof over the same period. As Brian Beutler can tell you, this area boasts among the hottest of the current housing markets (bubbles?). When I look out my French doors across the city, I count a half-dozen building cranes along the downtown skyline, and that's just within my line of sight. The last few years have been among the most horrifying and agonizing and polarizing as this country has had since at least the 1960s. Americans are no doubt better off today than back then, but I'm young enough to have missed the turbulence of those years, not to mention the anomie of the 1970s; I don't know quite how it felt before Reagan's "morning in America," our solidified geopolitical dominance under Bush pere, and techno-economic party time with Clinton. It'll be awhile before things settle down again and become boring (and rock bands start writing lyrics like: "I wish it was the sixties / I wish I could be happy / I wish / I wish / I wish that something would happen"). God Bless America, even if it doesn't always feel the way it used to. Friday, September 09, 2005
DANGEROUS MINDS It's no secret that DC's schools have for years been among the worst in the nation. I can attest to some of these problems, thanks in large part to this year's overheated, drawn-out — and much-publicized -- mercury scare at the high school across the street from me. This neighborhood also claims a few arts-inclined magnet schools, which one might think better for having a stated mission. I'm not so sure. Let us consider the school two blocks down from here, the name of which I cannot presently determine, but has recently been the site of some very peculiar outdoor artwork:  From a distance it almost looks like leftovers from a particularly unsuccessful silent auction on parents' night.  I suppose one could call this an "installation," except that it strikes one as an afterthought of the fun that someone had in assembling it. Or maybe I'm not so far off describing the typical gallery installation?  I walked past this setup for weeks, and no attempt was made, that I could see, to steal any of its constituent pieces. What would you even take?  If I didn't know better, I'd say that this school was not a drug-free zone. Wednesday, September 07, 2005
COUNT Seriously, what is up with MSNBC? Check this:  See that new feature toward the bottom-right corner of the screen? Here it is again, just a few minutes later:  A count down toward an event (like they did in the final days before the 2003 Iraq war began) is one thing, and so is a "Countdown with Keith Olbermann," but a countup from (I presume) the hurricane's landfall? And what on Earth are they counting up to? As if the number-three network didn't already have problems aplenty, now they're just throwing any old graphic up on the screen that occurs to them. You always have to watch the clock in television news, but this is ridiculous. Meanwhile, the three cable nets have each decided on a different slug for their Katrina aftermath coverage. Can you match the network with its designation for the ongoing natural disaster?
Answers tomorrow, even if nobody bothers to guess. And no watching television news! That's my job. Come on, TVNewser, you want a piece of me? THURSDAY UPDATE, AS PROMISED — Ding! Ding! Ding! With but one entrant, we already have a winner. Michael Scheuer-acquaintance Marla Traweek responds in the comments: CNN- State of EmergencyYes, yes you do. Bret, if you're reading this, can you spot me on the cookie? I'll pay you back, I swear. BREAKING NEWS UPDATE — As of 3:05 P.M. on Thursday, September 8th, 2005, the Canard can now report — via MSNBC — that it has been 10 days and 7 hours since Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast. Tell everyone you know. Sunday, September 04, 2005
STREETS OF PHILADELPHIA After I'd ascertained that Paul Krugman was in decent health, and after lunch at the Reading Terminal Market — where I saw real Amish, but for a moment thought they were in costumes — and after another panel discussion at the Courtyard Marriott, I had about an hour to wander the location of the Springsteen song mentioned above.  There's Will Penn, standing atop the Philadelphia City Hall. If there's a Robert Sylvania, maybe his statue is in Pittsburgh.  Looking East down Market Street. Or maybe it's Filbert. But I'm 100% on the East part.  A block past Maple? That's John F. Kennedy Drive... the Boulevard is right here.  So, here commences my march Northwest up Benjamin Franklin Parkway, through a section of town known as Fairmount Park, toward the Museum of Art. The museum, which you can already see in the background, is best known for its cameo role in the original "Rocky." This is in the multi-level JFK Plaza (hmm, doesn't Philly have any hometown heroes?).  Looking back Southeast from the plaza.  An even bigger fountain, in Logan Square.  An even closer picture of Rocky Balboa's exercise equipment, taken while standing in traffic.  Oooooh... Segways! They may not have revolutionized the world, but they do seem to have revolutionized the sightseeing tour industry.  Most scenic city centers have rather less-scenic parking lots — the Mall in Washington is one exception — but does it have to be right across the street?  How about that building? This isn't the best angle, but you'd need a degree in trigonometry to figure out the shape. It's as if the architect was going for a Frank Gehry look using only straight lines.  The skyline looks a bit different than it did in the movie. And, yes, I jogged up. A little hard with a laptop bag slung over my shoulder, but I managed. Moments after taking this shot, I dashed back down the steps, hailed a cab, and made it back to the Amtrak station with about 10 minutes to spare.  And here's a cove at the northern end of the Chesapeake, not far outside Baltimore. I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did. R.I.P. WILLIAM REHNQUIST So we're obviously living in interesting times. Could it get more interesting? Yes, yes it can:  All due respect to Mr. Rehnquist, but did he ever choose a bad time to kick the bucket. The Roberts hearings are set to begin next week. It's my guess that this vacancy is likely to abbreviate the scheduled hearings, and John Roberts — who was already going to be confirmed without serious oppostion — will now be confirmed in short order. We've got to deal with Katrina — the interestingness that matters most right now — and then there's another SCOTUS vacancy to fight over. Not to mention Iraq and the fight against terrorism overall. Frankly, we don't have enough time and resources to fight about all of this. But fighting we already are. Saturday, September 03, 2005
OH NO!! Paul Krugman is having a heart attack!!!  No, no. He's just standing up from the audience to contribute his thoughts at the EschaCon in Philly earlier today. I've got plenty of good photos from my 9 hours there today, which will go up sometime tomorrow. But Krugman is of a certain age where he needs to be looking out for the warning signs. And he has been awfully agitated these past five years. Yes, a New York Times columnist came to see bloggers talk politics and political strategy. Now that's the new media for you. P.S. — I know, this picture is blurry. I haven't figured out how to take good indoor pictures yet on my SD 400. Any advice? Friday, September 02, 2005
AND WE FOUGHT THE BLOODY CHAOS IN THE TOWN OF NEW ORLEANS A few more thoughts, because in the middle of the night when you don't have to work the next day, they come to you (i.e. me):
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT ... AND ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I DON'T FEEL FINE  A thought occurred to me: Should flags be at half-mast right now? We do it both ceremonially (for an entire week when a president dies, like with Reagan last summer) and upon the conclusions of major tragedies (think 9/11 or the Columbia shuttle disaster). It was pretty clear when to lower the flags in those cases. But when is the appropriate time here? After they verify the death toll? Immediately?Plenty of thoughts occur, as I consider the past week's events:  Tonight I've been telling people that the current situation — the interstate destruction wrought by Katrina, but most urgently the likely end of New Orleans as we know it — is like 9/11 in slow motion. No human enemy in this case, and no necessary war of choice of course, but the death toll and economic impact on the country are comparable. Speculation has it that Dulles could shut down in two weeks' time if the oil pipelines aren't restored. I don't think that will happen, but then, on Monday I was confident enough that Nawlins wouldn't be flooded right now. As for the human cost, the martial law-requiring anarchy in N.O. right now is beyond the horrors of another civic unrest of this coinciding late-20th century/early 21st hurricane cycle. By which I mean, Katrina may yet prove to combine two momentous 1992 events: Hurricane Andrew and the Los Angeles riots.And for anyone who thinks Iraq was about oil, stop yourself — this is about oil, and related disruptions that may visit upon the entire country in coming weeks. In some areas we're already at European-level gas prices. We haven't been here since the Carter administration. Right now I have a hard time figuring out which is more disturbing: the relative handful of nightmarish hours during the first weeks of 9/11, or the week (so far) of nightmarish events in New Orleans, and the months that are surely ahead. (For clarity's sake, both are decades-long challenges.) Anyone care to choose? Thursday, September 01, 2005
WORTH MENTIONING
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But fear not: the next time a member of Radiohead picks his nose and blogs about it, Pitchfork News will let you know immediately.
While I'm on the subject of television, I made sure to tune in for the debut of the Chris Rock-produced/co-written 
Merely calling this whole crisis "Hurricane Katrina" seems inadequate. Wikipedia is calling it the 
