I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED!

I don't know about you, but I've been getting an awful lot of electric shocks lately. And by lately, I mean the past two or three weeks. The frequency of unexpected minor electrocutions was one of the things I noticed my first year out here, but eventually it went away. And then came back, and returns intermittently. I get electric shocks from door handles, my kitchen countertop, my refrigerator, even my trusty laptop (which can't be good). I've asked a few people around here why this is, but no one can give me a good answer. I'm not sure if this is a winter phenomenon exclusively, which is why I'm blogging this now — I'll mention it when it comes back next time, and compare.

And I'm not out of questions yet: Does it have something to do with the fact that there are more electrical storms out here than in the Pacific Northwest? If so, does this mean people in Tornado Alley have to wear those ground bracelets so they're not getting shocks all the time? Should I get one? Because it's really pretty annoying.

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posted by WWB at 4:00 PM |

 
CLOUDS IN MY COFFEE

Call me vain if you'd like, but call me a follower first — it looks like this is the new thing to do, so here's the "word cloud" this website has conjured for the past two years of the Washington Canard:


P.S. — RIP, Don Knotts. I came thisclose to including him on my Death Pool list for 2006. Congrats to Courtney and Tim.

P.P.S. — Come on, Beverly Cleary, I know you can do it.

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posted by WWB at 11:40 PM |

 
THE END OF THE ROAD

Er, Road's End, I mean. The beach community just north of Lincoln City in Oregon, which is not actually the terminus of U.S. 101. But it is the terminus of my parents' pathway to building a beach house, and it's where I traveled with my family to see the progress last December 26. I've been meaning to put these pictures up for awhile, and I'm at a loss for reasons why I shouldn't do it now:


Here's the approximate view from the street side of what will be a house in another 3-4 months.


Here's Maggie standing near enough to the future front door, plus my father talking rebar with one of the construction guys.


And here's Ellie standing about where that prospective portico is supposed to go.


Because it's been too long since my last photographic panorama, click on the above thumbnail to see what Road's End beach looks like from the shore below.

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posted by WWB at 4:34 PM |

 
JUST AS LONG AS YOU SPELL MY NAME RIGHT

And Atrios certainly did that:


As reader Lance Uppercut pointed out in the comments to my Quayle post below, an op-ed analysis I had printed in Friday's Washington Examiner has come to the attention of the lefty blogosphere — see the Matts at MyDD and Left in the West — and they don't like it one bit.

Well, that's fine. Some of their problems have more to do with the nature of the short op-ed format, and there's really no getting around that. I wish I'd known that the AFL-CIO was organizing for Ciro Rodriguez, but I stand by the rest of it. I could complain about the hyperbolic nature of some criticisms, or the way they dismiss the "conventional wisdom" as if it's necessarily wrong, but the truth is I'm just too honored by the recognition as "Wanker of the Day." Even if most people will miss it because it's the weekend.

Thanks, Atrios. You've made my day.

P.S. — The indispensible Echopraxia directs me toward the most unintentionally funny response to my piece: the irascible Steve Gilliard offering me an unnecessary history lesson on the Vichy regime, whilst taking credit for the recent coinage of a phrase that's been around for over a decade.

UPDATE — After being so unkind as to describe my column as "absurd and dishonest," Matt Stoller was so kind as to offer me a rebuttal post at MyDD. It's up now.

FURTHER UPDATE — Oh well. Maybe I should have known this would end badly. See also today's Blogometer.

Let this be a lesson to me, just as soon as I figure out what that is.

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posted by WWB at 2:05 PM |

 
WHERE'S MORGAN?

Oh, I know, she's right here. But I meant more in a "Where's Waldo?" sense. And I think she's right about...


There she is! Right where it says Montessoriweg (it's a street, not a school (she is going to school, but she's a little bit old for Montessori school at this point)). You can't see her, of course, because of the big white letters hovering above the ground like the opening credits of a David Fincher picture. I guess she'll have to tell us where exactly she's at.

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posted by WWB at 1:33 PM |

 
QUAYLE HUNT

At the suggestion of Echopraxia, I recently picked up Joe Queenan's 1992 meditation on the strange phenomenon of J. Danforth Quayle, then still the vice president of these here United States. The book, "Imperial Caddy: The Rise of Dan Quayle in America and the Decline and Fall of Practically Everything Else" is great read — certainly not very difficult, which is good, because it's not not terribly relevant. (I got a good-as-new copy off Amazon for less than a slice of pizza, which is also good.) In fact, it was completely irrelevant just months after its publication, thanks to the presidential election that took place later that year — if not Quayle's abortive attempts to seek the top job in 1996 and 2000.

What it lacks in relevance it makes up for in (what I suppose we can call here on the Internet) LOLosity, not to mention funny anecdotes about the dismal office of the vice presidency. And maybe it is just more relevant than I first indicated. The manner in which the media and the left rushed to depict Quayle as a dunce when he first rose to prominence while the right treated him skeptically sounds remarkably like how George W. Bush was treated during his first run for office and early months in the White House. And then after that early period, the media rushed to argue that someone so powerful couldn't actually be a dolt, the left decided he was actually a threat to the country, and the right decided he was all right after all. Remind you of anbody?

Anyway, in a late chapter, he describes the then-booming market in irreverent Dan Quayle collectibles, including wristwatches. He writes:

Kay Healy, who sells the upscale Dan Quayle watches, expects to have no trouble unloading the 300 items she has already produced. She notes that Spiro Agnew watches, which ran $29 when Agnew was in office, are now worth ten times that price.

Because the Agnew watches were crude and cheap -- not unlike the man who inspired them -- and were turned out in the thousands, there are still plenty of them around, holding down their long-term value as collectibles. Healy, who is in the political collectibles business, says that's why her watches are deliberately designed as a limited-edition collector's item (she is setting some aside for herself, convinced that their value would skyrocket should Quayle ever become president.)

So how are Dan Quayle wristwatches doing these days? Well... if eBay or Froogle are to be believed, they are either so valuable as to be not available for purchase or, possibly, so worthless as to be not available for purchase.

As for Agnew watches, well, you can still take your pick (and the easy availability over the Internet, if not his reduced notoriety, seems to have brought the price down plenty). Gore watches? They hardly exist. I remember Clinton watches being advertised on television during the 1990s — by the American Spectator, I think — and indeed they're still quite popular as well. Looking for a Bush watch? There's a whole galaxy out there — and most of them seem to be reverential.

I'm tempted to ask, why on Earth would anybody buy a watch with a politician on it, whether it was someone you loved or hated. Tempted. I'd even like to ask what it would say about someone who would create a watch promoting a White House run by Laura Bush, or Jeb Bush. Like to. After all, I can guarantee you right now neither will be at any straw polls in Iowa come spring 2007. Instead, what I really have to know is:

What does it say about somebody who buys or creates a watch promoting a 2008 presidential run by... George W. Bush?

UPDATE — And then, of course, this goes up nearly at the same time news is breaking around the world — via the Corpus Christi Caller-Times, of all places — that Vice President Dick Cheney has become the second sitting veep to shoot a man since Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton, while quail hunting (Cheney, not Burr). I should really have my own 900 number.

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posted by WWB at 6:33 PM |

 
LIKE A FLIP BOOK, EXCEPT NOT

Well, the snow has stopped and the sun is out. However much snow actually fell, there's really only about 3 or 4 inches on the ground. There may be a bit of snow later on today, but the dream is over. It's must be above freezing outside because I see the occasional drip of water from higher floors, and the snow has been falling from tree branches for the last hour or so. I can't bear to take a picture of that, so here's a crude time-delay representation of 18 hours in district from approximately the same view, all times approx:


1500 EST — It is snowing here, but just barely.


1700 EST — Now in the last hour of daylight, things don't look much different. A bit foggier, but that's it. Two hours of snow and it hasn't begun to stick.


2100 EST — All right, now we're getting somewhere, even if the asphalt below might as well be teflon. The snow isn't all that heavy, really, though it is basically falling sideways.


0300 EST — Still snowing and finally blanketing the streets as well. If this one's blurrier than the others, well, I'd only been awake for about 45 seconds when I snapped this.


0900 EST — The first winter wonderland we've seen here in awhile. Thank you, butterfly in China.

Having grown up in a temperate environment where snow was scarce and now living in another part of the country where heavy snow is likewise rare, albeit for different climatological reasons, I'd like to say I'll take what I can get. But that would be false. I'm never happy, not unless I'm snowed in for real. This happened the first year I moved here, and ever since I've been

It snowed late last fall, but not even this much. The melt has already begun — I've had to lower the shades a bit to keep out the sun, but also because I can't stand looking at the drip, drip, drip from above — yet it won't disappear entirely today. No, it'll freeze overnight, meaning I may well have to slide down the sidewalk very carefully on my trek down to the Metro tomorrow morning.

If it wasn't for football, I'd say should move to Buffalo or Miami — pick a climate and stick with it. Instead, I should just resign myself to perpetual disappointment.

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posted by WWB at 11:24 AM |

 
THE WEEKEND IN PREVIEW

Longtime readers of this blog and my former one will know that I am not above blogging about the weather, and this weekend I may just sink into that self-indulgence this weekend. Here's what Drudge reports (with a non-trivial assist by AccuWeather):


The Washington Canard may be stuck in the eye of the storm — to be meteorologically incorrect about it — but at least it looks like we'll just miss the eye of a 50-mile-wide capital letter R. Weather.com tells me the two-triple-oh-nine area code could get as much as nine inches. But because Capital Weather usually aims high in the over/under and they say it'll only be 7" maximum, I'm guessing we'll get four. But if I am stuck inside this weekend, there just might be a flurry of blog posts. That's not a promise... more like a weak ploy to get you to click back again over the weekend just so someone will notice if I do go all out, which as I said is not a given. Excited?

P.S. — You know those stupid ads that are designed to look an awful lot like real headlines on the Drudge Report? For some reason, they're running in the UK Guardian (hit reload if you get a different ad) as well:


This one I think is so stupid it's genius — obviously we're to draw the inference that the POTUS himself is sitting there in the Oval personally conducting surveillance. Whatever he's listening to, it sure must be interesting. Is that the look of a man listening to you rant on C-SPAN about the Zionist Occupied Government? Well...

Anyway, the poll goes to NewsMax, which claims it "will provide the results of this poll to major media." I am sure they will, and I am equally sure Bush will be moonlighting for the NSA before it appears in the Washington Post. And I know the Guardian has a significant American readership, but isn't it a little strange for a right-wing U.S. site to be soliciting opinions from readers of a left-wing UK paper? (Note: I'm not sure why I'm compelled to put periods after the U and the S above but not after the U and the K.) Just asking.

P.P.S. If this was Sesame Street, I would (and even though it isn't, I still will) add that this post has been brought to you by the letters R, U, S, and K. I don't know about you, but I'm inspired to learn more about former U.S. Secretary of State Dean Rusk.

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posted by WWB at 7:34 PM |

 
GREAT SPAMS OF THE INTERNET

Yep, it's that time again! Here's a worthwhile exchange (as far as these things go) from last week:

From: "Mr William Morrison"
Date: January 30, 2006 6:15:40 PM EST
To: Me
Subject: photo approval needed

Hello,

Your photograph has reached editing stage as part of an article we are publishing for our February edition of the Guardians business section. Can you check over the format and get back to us with your approval or any changes?
If the picture is not to your liking then please send a preferred one. We've attached the photo with the article here.

Kind regards,

William Morrison
Editor
www.Guardian.com


This communication contains information which is confidential and may also be privileged. It is for the exclusive use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient(s) please note that any form of distribution, copying or use of this communication or the information in it is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you have received this communication in error please return it to the sende [sic]

Now this was an interesting enough approach — rather than appealing to one's pent-up libido, or conversely their religious sensibilities, or even their fear of spam, this specimen appealed to one's vanity. It made me look twice!

And it put me in a generous enough mood to offer some pointers:

From: Me
Date: January 30, 2006 10:17:38 AM EST
To: "Mr William Morrison"
Subject: RE: photo approval needed

Clever.

Except a) instead of image files you've attached TXT files (gee, wonder why!).

And b) Guardian.com is some other company (what, don't want to piss off guardian.co.uk?)

Better luck next time!

And for my favor of fellow-feeling, what did I get? Well, I got this:

From: "System Administrator"
Date: January 30, 2006 10:17:42 AM EST
To: Me
Subject: Undeliverable:RE: photo approval needed

Your message

To: Mr William Morrison
Subject: RE: photo approval needed
Sent: Mon, 30 Jan 2006 10:17:38 -0500

did not reach the following recipient(s):

william.morrison@guardian.com on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 10:17:39 -0500
There was a SMTP communication problem with the recipient's email
server. Please contact your system administrator.

The nerve! Well, serves me right for trying to do some good. I guess I still have some things to learn about human nature.

Anyway, I had less than an hour to go before that day's deadline, and so I threw myself back into the work that is my livelihood. But then, just over an hour later, I received...

From: "Mr W Morrison"
Date: January 30, 2006 6:40:45 PM EST
To: Me
Subject: Photo

Hello,

Your photograph has reached editing stage as part of an article we are publishing for our February edition of the Guardians business section. Can you check over the format and get back to us with your approval or any changes?
If the picture is not to your liking then please send a preferred one. We've attached the photo with the article here.

Kind regards,

William Morrison
Editor
www.Guardian.com


This communication contains information which is confidential and may also be privileged. It is for the exclusive use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient(s) please note that any form of distribution, copying or use of this communication or the information in it is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you have received this communication in error please return it to the sende [sic]

What was I to do now, just ignore the message and continue my work, now technically past my daily deadline?

No, no. I could still do some good here. I just knew it:

From: Me
Date: January 30, 2006 11:33:15 AM EST
To: "Mr W Morrison"
Subject: RE: Photo

Hello, you sent this to me once already this morning.

If you're going to spam effectively, shouldn't you at least keep better track of your mailing lists?

Just trying to help!

And for my spirit of self-sacrifice, what did I get? Well, I got this:

From: "System Administrator"
Date: January 30, 2006 11:33:17 AM EST
To: "Beutler, William"
Subject: Undeliverable:RE: Photo

Your message

To: Mr W Morrison
Subject: RE: Photo
Sent: Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:33:15 -0500

did not reach the following recipient(s):

william.morrison@guardian.com on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:33:17 -0500
There was a SMTP communication problem with the recipient's email
server. Please contact your system administrator.

Well, that really did it. Once again, that should teach me not to just naively assume that a spammer has my best interests at heart. They may be real, live people with dreams and aspirations, loves and loathings, ambitions and fears, but it doesn't necessarily mean they'll take the time out of their day to send out annoying e-mail messages from accounts to which I can actually respond. More often than not, they're likely to be self-centered hackers discharging thousands of thoughtless spoofed messages from zombie machines. The big jerks.

Not that I won't still return their messages from time to time.

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posted by WWB at 6:15 PM |

 
OUT OF STEP

As you probably know quite well, left-wing activists don't want military recruiters hanging around high school campuses. No great surprise, this fact. But now I know why: they don't want competition! Of course, it's no great realization to recognize that the streets surrounding such a secondary school are a pretty good place to sign up impressionable near-adults for your cause. And as plenty of you know, I live across the street from Cardozo High on the southernmost perch of Columbia Heights. Which pretty much gave me a front-row seat to yesterday's strident scholastic showdown.

For a few days now I'd been seeing a fresh set of anti-Bush signs plastered around the neighborhood, the one featured at above left (and below right, and elsewhere). As I trudged up the hill on Thursday afternoon, I spied a troika of not-that-young activist-types plastering a few more to the utility box on the corner. I didn't give them much thought; after all, somebody must be posting these minor eyesores all about the place, and so it happened to be these folks. But by the time I got upstairs to my place, one of the lefty activist dudes was blowing into a megaphone, blaring that loud, tinny voice I almost invariably associate with Jake and Elwood's nemeses, the Illinois Nazis: "BLAH BLAH GENOCIDE BLAH BLAH MURDEROUS BLAH BLAH CONDI..." And over and over again: "BUSH! STEP! DOWN! ... BUSH! STEP! DOWN! ... BUSH... STEP... DOWN."

I considered yelling from up on the second-story that Bush couldn't actually hear him, but I've never been a very effective heckler (if I'm going to cut someone down to size, the written word is my weapon of choice). Normally I would just tune out this futile, amplified rant, and go about my day. Except this was happening directly below my apartment. So I did what came natural to a shy, retiring type such as myself — I grabbed my digital camera and plunged into the middle of the scene.

Cardozo is a minority-majority (majority-minority?) high school, nearly all the students African-American or Hispanic. Based on established voting patterns, I can see why this would be a wise place to commence indoctrination. But the trio of activists happened to be as pasty-skinned as yours truly. Not that this stopped Megaphone Man from slipping into what John McWhorter would call Black English. Not so fly, even for a white guy.

Meanwhile, his comrades passed out leaflets inviting the students down to the Lafayette Square outside the White House for a march on Saturday afternoon. It was kind of hard to gauge the students' actual level of interest. Megaphone Man got a few of the kids on record about whether they supported George W. Bush ("Hell no!"), but no one looked at the flyers after accepting them, and some of them ended up on the ground. But did they know — as I do after visiting the World Can't Wait website — that Al Sharpton will be there? And Doris "Granny D" Haddock? And best of all... Boots Riley? (Is he still famous?)

Soon enough the school police got involved, and not quite as soon, so did the District police. And that's about where my pictures start:


So here's Megaphone Man and Flyer Lady and a school police officer. I never got a picture of the third protester guy. I believe it was his job to protect the stack of green posters.


The protester-police powwow, with the adolescent audience above (That's right, I keep my skills sharp).


Before the whole thing was over I counted four police cars. For three non-violent protesters. Then again, this was all happening across the street from a police station.


Would you look at that — they're being shooed away from campus, and yet she's still handing out flyers! That's dedication, all right... but to what?

Although I spent five years at school in the self-professed anarchist capital of the world, I still have a hard time explaining what these people think they are accomplishing. If they really believe the present administration is comparable to the Third Reich, why then would Bushitler himself willingly give up power? ... I just wrote about two paragraphs on the subject, and then deleted them. I really don't care. You've got to be posting on Daily Kos at least before I give your politics a second thought.

P.S. — On Monday evening, Cindy Sheehan and Ramsey Clark held an event at a bookstore-restaurant-bar-hangout down the street from here, Busboys and Poets. Ms. Sheehan was just back from Venezuela, and I guess Mr. Clark had just returned from Baghdad, the site of his latest gig, legal counsel to Saddam Hussein. I guess you could say I let go of Eugene a long time ago, but Eugene won't let go of me.

P.S. — If I had to stake a guess on what explains modern hard-left activism, I suppose I would go with this. And this is worth reading, too.

SATURDAY UPDATE — If any Cardozo students did in fact show up for the Bush Step Down rally, they sure got rained on.

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posted by WWB at 3:41 PM |